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I've always found myself amusing, now it's time to expand on that audience. Created to develop an incredible ego and delusional sense of grandeur. It's all about me...come enjoy!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

A Little Bit of Dave in Every Bite

Wendy’s restaurant has been in a steady decline since the death of founder and spokesperson Dave Thomas in 2002. In an attempt to fill the void left by the loveable founder Wendy’s executives came up with a new ad campaign “The Unofficial Spokesman of Wendy’s” featuring Mr. Wendy.

Mr Wendy and his unofficial ways enraged consumers who quickly turned their back on the fast food chain. The body of actor Roger Eschbacher who played the much detested Mr. Wendy was found earlier this past summer in an abandoned warehouse; stripped naked with hands and feet bound to a chair. Eschbacher was found face down in a large bowl of Wendy’s chili. An autopsy revealed the contents of Eschbacher’s stomach to contained 2 gallons on Frosty ice cream and 37 partially digested but barely chewed spicy chicken sandwiches. The police have ruled the death as accidental choking and regard the case as closed.

News of the death of the Unofficial Spokesman of Wendy’s sent the fast food executives scrambling to find a replacement. In an attempt to recapture their market they tapped the only resource they had, Dave Thomas. Wendy’s saw their stock return from the nose dive of recent months with new commercials features the late Dave Thomas a-la Weekend at Bernie’s.

Hoping to further capitalize on the late fast food founder giant, Wendy’s has just recently rolled out their new campaign, “A Little Bit of Dave in Every Bite”. With this campaign the new menu items include:
- Dave’s Five Finger Chili
- Dave’s Big Back Bacon Classic
- Fillet O’ Dave
- Baked Potato with sour cream, bacon, chives and bits of real Dave.

Executives hope that this will give them the boost they need to put them on top of the fast food industry. One top executive was quoted as saying, “We listen to our customers, they wanted Dave Thomas and we’re going to give him to them.”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Holy Frick, the inevitable meat chili. My quest for drive through steamed square maxipad-esque patties on a toasted sesame buns has just come to an abrupt hault.

Nice Work.

3:58 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

u know, i wish i could be just like u... that way when i start spouting off sum crazy-ass bullshit...i could believe myself....

8:39 PM


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